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Facts About Holocaust

 

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What the world doesn’t need, however, is one more internet crank ranting on and on about how there’s something going on that we don’t know about when it comes to 9/11. (Like, what exactly DID happen that mysterious day, and what does it have to do with events in Sept-… oh, alright, I’ll let it go.)

The thing that does interest me, however, is the lighter side of conspiracy theories. In the Splindependent editorial, the writer mentions David Icke. The name rang a vague bell, so I looked him up.

I don’t think I’ve ever found a more diverting article.

Essentially, and I admit I’m a little hazy on the details, David Icke is a former footballer who received a message from the beyond through a medium in 1990. I personally receive most of my messages through a small, but as a former goal keeper, he is presumably taller than me. He believes, amongst other things, that Hitler was talked into the Holocaust by a group of Jews who then bankrolled the whole thing, that he himself is the son of God, and that the whole world is secretly run by a group of giant lizards from the constellation Draco.

I don’t know why space reptiles come from a constellation that sounds like the Russian guy in Rocky IV, but then I haven’t had a chance to ask them, yet.

According to the startlingly earnest Mr. Icke, these reptilian overlords have successfully bred with humans to create a race of hybrids who can shape-shift after drinking human blood, and who are now all in positions of power. A by-no-means exhaustive list of these hybrids includes the British Royal Family, George W. Bush and presumably the rest of his family, Tony Blair, the Rothschild family and Kris Kristofferson.

Now, there’s a name that leaps out at me there right away.

If there was (and by “if there was” I mean “there isn’t”) a huge, global conspiracy by space reptiles, I can understand most of those choices. You would want lizard-men in keys places, such as Government (check) Royalty (check) and country music. No, wait…

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